A Secret for a Successful Conversation

What is the secret for a successful conversation and relationship? According to the previous Harvard President, Charles W. Eliot,"There's no mystery in successful conversation...Only one : full attention to the person who is speaking to you, that's really important. There's no better flattering thing."

Eliot himself is a master in art of listening in the past time. Henry James, the first big novelist of America, said : "Listening, which Dr. Eliot meant is not only idly listening. He sat still on his chair, not making any move except rolling his thumbs faster or slower, he looked at the one speaking to him and seemed listening with his eyes and ears. He listened with his mind, and focus thinking of what you were saying while you were saying it.. At the end of the conversation, the people to whom he had spoken with felt that he understood of what he tried to say."


The people who only speaks about themselves only think about themselves. And "The people who only speaks about themselves," Dr. Nicholas Murray Butler, president of Columbia University, said : "No doubt, are uneducated people. They are uneducated people," said Dr. Butler, "No matter how great they are taught."


So, if you want to be a good speaker, be a full of attention good listener. To be attractive, be attracted to other people. Ask questions that other people will be glad to answer. Encourage them to speak about themselves and their success.

Remember that people to whom you talk is one hundred times more interested with themselves and their desires, also their problems, compared to their interests to you and your problems. Somebody's toothache is more important to him than a big famine in China that killed a million people. Pain in his throat is more interesting to him compared to 40 earthquakes in Africa. Think about it when you start a conversation or try to make a relationship with someone.

Be a good listener. Motivate other people to speak about themselves.