You Can't Win a Debate

You can't win in a debate. You can't, because if you lose, you lose. And if you win, you lose too.


Why?

If you win in your debate with your friend and prove it to them so his/her argument is full of hole.

So what?

You will feel happy.

But what about your friend?

You've made him/her feel ashamed. You've hurt his/her pride. Your friend will hate you victory.

And what?

Your relationship with your friends will become worse.


Someone who was convinced to oppose his/her opinion will remain hold it.



How to prevent disagreement to avoid debate :


1. Respond well the disagreement

"If two friend always agree, one of them isn't needed." If there is something you haven't thought yet, thank God if it told to you. Maybe this disagreement is your chance to be corrected, before you make a serious problem.


2. Don't trust in your first impression of your instinct

Our first natural reaction in a bad condition is to be defensive. Be careful. Calm down and see your first reaction. Maybe that is your worst part, not your best part.


3. Control your emotion

Remember, you can measure how big is someone by the things made him/her mad.


4. Hear it first

Give a chance to your opponent to talk. Let them finish. Don't reject it, defend yourself or debating. All of this will only rise the wall between you and your opponent. Try to build an agreement bridge. Don't build a wall taller than misunderstanding.


5. See for the area you agree

If you've heard your opponents words, think the area you agree first


6. Be honest

See for the area you can take mistake, and tell it. Apologize for you mistake. This will help to disarm your opponent and reduce his/her defense.


7. Commit to think about your opponent's opinion and think about it well

Do it seriously. Your opponent may be right. Far more easy to think their opinion than you move forward and make your position where you opponent can say : "We've tried to tell you, but you won't listen"


8. Appreciate your opponent honestly for his/her interest

Everyone that want to share his/her time to disagree with you it means that he/she interested in the same thing with you. Think about them as the people who really want to help you,, and you may can change you enemy to your friend


9. Don't rush, give time to both side to think about the problem

Suggest the next meeting hold in that day or tomorrow, when all facts can be brought. When you prepared this meet, ask yourself this difficult questions :
Is he/she right? Half right? Is there a truth on their argumentation? Is my reaction will solve the problem or it will only make things harder? Will I lose or win?


Don't gamble your relationship with others. Let others win and you will not lose your relationship